Is flirting cheating or is it harmless? It's a question that's plagued many relationships, with fingers being pointed left and right. Jealousy, insecurity, and downright anger all can rear their ugly heads when it comes to flirting outside of a relationship. And suddenly, even a stable-seeming relationship starts to crumble. 

So should flirting really have this big of an impact on a relationship? Is flirting actually cheating? Let's break down when it is, when it isn’t, and what to do when flirting starts to affect your relationship.

Is Flirting Cheating? Three Times When It Is

• You're getting emotional fulfillment from flirting

When we think about flirting, we think about engaging in a teasing relationship which can hint at sexual connection but never crosses the line into sexual engagement. That being said, flirting can sometimes toe the line between emotional connection and emotional engagement as well, which is when Professor Terri Orbuch, PhD, says flirting can turn into cheating.

“When you begin to go to that person for emotional support and connection, rather than your partner, you have crossed the line from flirting to emotional cheating,” says Orbuch. It's fine to have a friend you flirt with who you also talk to and confide in, but if they know more about what’s going on in your life than your partner does, you’re emotionally cheating. This problem is particularly exacerbated if you’re also confiding in this person about your relationship issues with your partner.

• You think about this person when you’re with your partner

If you're laying in bed at night with your partner and your mind keeps going back to that person at work you keep flirting with, you’re likely emotionally cheating. That person may not physically be between you and your partner, but with them occupying your mind, they are emotionally between the two of you. 

Having feelings of attraction toward another person is very common, particularly when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. Having those feelings isn’t the problem. The problem is when you allow those feelings to consume, rather than try to come to terms with them and decide what you want to do with them. 

• You don't want to tell your partner about the person you're flirting with

If you’re skipping out on work functions you’re supposed to bring your spouse to just because you don’t want your spouse to meet the new person at work you’re flirting with and maybe crushing on, you’ve crossed a line. You hiding this person from your partner means that, somewhere in you, you feel like you’ve done something wrong and have something to hide. 

We really are our own best gauges to determine if our flirting has become cheating. If you feel nervous about the prospect of your partner meeting the object of your flirty affections, it’s because you know you’ve done something that you don’t think your partner would like.

• You don't want to tell your partner about the person you’re flirting with

If you’re skipping out on work functions you're supposed to bring your spouse to just because you don't want your spouse to meet the new person at work you’re flirting with and maybe crushing on, you've crossed a line. You hiding this person from your partner means that, somewhere in you, you feel like you've done something wrong and have something to hide. 

We really are our own best gauges to determine if our flirting has become cheating. If you feel nervous about the prospect of your partner meeting the object of your flirty affections, it's because you know you've done something that you don’t think your partner would like.

Having read this article, are you ready to start your online romance journey and ready to flirt?